Change is often hard. Especially when it concerns real and lasting change; the change that requires us to let go of something that we have and grab onto something new.
There are two factors that make a transformation difficult. And one of them is often overlooked. Next to the actual change there are the feelings that we have in response to it, which we must overcome.
The sensations we have in reaction to change differ from person to person and from situation to situation. It’s up to you to recognize and study yours to effectively break through the emotional barriers they form.
Our system is always reluctant to change and the feelings that come along with that change are essentially a way for it to maintain its status quo. In this way, we must literally fight ourselves to make the adjustments we envision for ourselves. Without that fight, everything remains the same.
Fear of the unknown is often an obstruction preventing us from transitioning, but also uncertainty about letting go of something. Shame may pop up when you change your ways towards someone. Feeling selfish, arrogant, guilty or mean, when realistically speaking you’re not, sometimes occur. Even missing someone after you broke up, even when you wanted to, is an example of this. Many more cases are waiting for you to be discovered.
All these feelings are not seldom the reason why we snap back into old behavior, as if we hit a wall that stops up in our path and repels us back the way we came. That’s why we need to be committed to get to the other side of them.
Many people consider surrendering to the way things are as the only option left, but that option brings its own sensations, often lasting dissatisfaction or frustration. In the long run it’s better to face the emotions that coincide with the change. They may be more intense, and thus more repelling, but once conquered they will provide a state of lasting gratification and well-being.
So, face yourself. But also stand up to those who, consciously or unconsciously, make use of your emotions to get you to keep doing what fits their status quo. Be determined.
A philosophical dreamer with a passion for self-reflection and contemplating life. He’s serious about helping people with the insights he gathered, but playful in the way he communicates his wisdom. He left a career as environmental engineer behind, in favor of becoming a personal development coach and thought-provoking writer.