Secondary Wishes

In life, we all have our hopes and desires. Some are still vague to us, some are clear and some are somewhere in between, on their way from being an undefined notion to becoming a fully developed ambition. In whatever state they’re in, we basically know what we want.


Most people are driven by their desires and take steps to fulfill them, while others just keep on dreaming, thinking their goals can’t be realized. But do we ever take a step back in order to find the source of our desires?


Many of our aspirations are the direct result of a situation we’re in or a state of mind we have. They are secondary wishes based on doubts and fears, on frustrations we experience, on what we think is expected of us or on what the world presents to us.


These are not the things that we really want, but instead the things we hold on to in order to avoid the things we have, but don’t like. And when our wishes are based on dissatisfaction, are they then really our true desires? And if they are not, should we be so willing to pursue them or linger in them?


Therefore, don’t simply settle for the desires you have, but find our why you have them. Determine whether or not they are the effects of discontent, disapproval, greed or anxiety. Doing so opens up a way to reconnect with what you originally wanted.


Secondary wishes, when they occupy our hearts and minds, often leave little room for the longings based on our ideals or on the nature of our being. They are deviating us from our intended ways, onto paths of disappointment and grievance, leading us to form more and more secondary wishes.


Is this not a vicious cycle you would want to get out of? In order to do so, we need to take a closer look at the cause of our desires, decide to no longer chase them when they are found out to be impure and, by doing so, get back in touch with our original dreams.

Jerry Corstens is a visionary dreamer with a blind passion for self-reflection and contemplating life, a self-proclaimed philosopher with poetic ambitions. He's serious about helping people with the insights he gathered, but playful in the way he communicates his wisdom. It made him leave a career as environmental engineer behind, in favor of becoming a personal development coach and thought-provoking writer.

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