We like each other best when we are balanced; when we are okay with who we are. In that state we don’t shy away from other people or, on the other side of that scale, go after their attention.
The truth is that, when we shy away, others won’t approach us, and when we go after their attention, they’re likely to walk away from us. People stick together when they meet without pressure, push or pull.
An imbalance within us can lead to us pushing people away, hoping that they come near, or pulling people near, hoping thy won’t go away. But both are illusions. The focus on others won’t help us retrieve our balance.
Liking ourselves is the step to take. That we need other to like us in order to achieve this is a notion born out of sentiment rather than reason. Although it helps, it’s not the basic way to go. Not what others think of you will matter to gain balance, but what you think of yourself. Only when your self-image is stable enough are people more likely to come your way and be willing to stay.
|Jerry CorstensA visionary dreamer with a blind passion for self-reflection and contemplating life, a self-proclaimed philosopher with poetic ambitions. He’s serious about helping people with the insights he gathered, but playful in the way he communicates his wisdom. It made him leave a career as environmental engineer behind, in favor of becoming a personal development coach and thought-provoking writer.|